You don't realize how many things you've survived
or all the times you've suffered, were abused,
mismanaged or underappreciated until someone asks you to
tell them who you are. Sometimes part of strength is an
unwillingness to be victimized by anyone. Today I was asked
who I was. I said I was a passionate person. I said I was the first
to arrive and the last to leave. I said I was a woman in search
of a purpose. I said I was a powerful weapon and if wielded correctly there isn't a battle I can't win. I am someone in search of great leadership. I am not my past and thank god. I have overcome things that have killed some people
I am not just anyone.
I have been beat senseless
Ripped to shreds and dehumanized
I’ve faced psychological terror, been programmed and brain washed.
I was almost damaged goods
If you placed all the things I almost was on a spectrum you’d see all the times I’ve been resurrected
I used to be insecurity manifested
Poetry talked me out of killing myself
If I behaved as my ancestors did before me I would not be an ancestor to those that came after me
So I do not follow their examples instead I follow the lessons in their mistakes.
In their haste to leave legacy’s they forgot to leave humans
They forgot to nurture their children
Forgot to kiss them goodnight in their haste to be worthy of being someone’s bedtime story they forgot to shine a light
And I don’t know about you but I have yet to meet someone who could read in darkness.
It is now three decades later that I can sit here and tell you who I am and even still it is only who I think
I think ima scared revolutionary who wasn’t taught early enough that her voice mattered
I think I am someone who found a way to matter inside her own feelings on insignificance
I am what the world has been waiting for but I’ve fought so hard to get out of shackles that I fear any motion that gets me back into them.